On this particular evening, in this particular home, this particular mommy particularly is convicted (not for the first time) about raising her voice.
Why is my boy not responding to my firmness? I ask myself in a dither, only to raise my voice even louder, just to prove I can be more stubborn than him.
Still no luck in deflating his anger, or convincing him that I am the one in charge here.
........ Maybe if I yell even louder .........
Both of us are now upset, forgetting about the original offense. No longer is this a confrontation between a mother a son. It's a battle between two prideful and stubborn children. And we go, each to our own rooms, to cool down.
There's something humbling about going to my 4-year old and apologizing to him. His face immediately softened. He was rendered speechless. Huh? His face tells me. Mommy is sorry? He is listening now.
I whisper in his ear how much I love him. How I'm proud that he sits at the table with us during school times. I tell him that I'm glad Jesus still loves us. I tell him that Jesus went to the cross for this.
He hugs me. We go to bed peacefully.
In the morning, the Lord gives me a Word - A Soft Answer Turns Away Wrath (Prov. 15:1)
We talk to each other in soft tones. My son strains to hear my words today, rather than shielding his face from my verbal blows.
Oh Lord, I'm glad there's grace for this.