December 17, 2012

Validate Me, Please!

Constantly remembering my standing with Christ is true validation rather than whether or not my kids are obeying me.

Does this make sense to any other moms out there?

Do you ever measure your parenting success or even personal success or value by how your kids are doing? If they don't obey, you find yourself taking it personally, even blaming yourself for not training them better. Of course, I'm not suggesting you have absolutely nothing to do with it. Perhaps you do need to review your disciplinary methods. However - if us moms are searching for validation or some kind of successful identity through our kids, either in their behavior or achievements, it's not going to take long to become discouraged ladies!

Or--the comparing game? Surely, you play it. Your kid isn't listening, and you happen to be at a friend's house and immediately, you compare your own "sinner" to their "perfect" child. You find yourself apologizing for your child's rudeness because you don't want the other mom to think you've overlooked the bad behavior. Public discipline becomes more of a show, for you, than perhaps what's beneficial for your own child? Yes, world, I'm dealing with this awful behavior in my kid! However, at home, when nobody is looking at you, perhaps you wouldn`t be bothered to look at the behavior of your child either. Maybe you are more gracious. Is this resonating with anybody out there? Perhaps, I'm in my own little world here.

I`m talking about the fear of man--caring more about what a friend thinks, or even the cashier at a store, thinks about you than what God thinks of us.

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. (Gal. 1:10 NIV) If you can please people at all, you won't keep them pleased!

So if we feel our kids are giving us a bad rep - shall we turn the tables and ask ourselves what kind of a reputation we're giving of our Lord? Ouch. We are His children after all. Perhaps more on that topic another time.

All of us desire value, purpose, identity. If you`re a mother, perhaps you know this trap I`m talking about. Living vicariously through your kids. Taking every fault of theirs as a personal reflection of your parenting faults. Or perhaps you are looking for verbal affirmation from your husband? You aren't doubting his love, but he rarely says anything romantic? And you won't be satisfied until he does. Maybe it's your employer. You have been working so hard, doing your very best for the company, and still haven't received any recognition for your efforts. Maybe it's at your local church.... or ministry? Perhaps your identity in the world has suddenly changed. Now you are an empty-nester, or you are a widow... you might be asking "Who am I now?"

Need some validation? If you know Jesus, than you probably know these texts. Let's be reminded of them together and discover truly meaningful validation here:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! (2 Cor. 5:17 NIV) For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will. (Eph. 1:3-5 NIV) For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph. 2:10 NIV) Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, (Eph. 2:19 NIV) For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16 NIV) No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Rom. 8:37-39 NIV)

Go on - bask in the love He has for you. He died for you! His grace abounds.

1 comment:

  1. I am reminded of those parking tickets that require validation at certain businesses, just to prove you actually patronized them. I want Jesus to be the one that stamps my ticket :). Yes, that's where I want t o get my validation.