March 25, 2013

Community, Where Older Meets Younger

A high calling is given to older women in Scripture in Titus:

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. – Titus 2:3-5 

Do see what the Apostle Paul is instructing us women to do, according to the inspiration of the Holy Spirit?

Without getting too far into the nitty-gritty of this passage, I want to highlight the fact that older and younger women are supposed to be in community with each other! To have relationships with one another. To be connecting and talking and worshiping together.

Since moving overseas, I have really missed my wiser, more “seasoned” mommy-friends. Those mothers who have seen their children get married. During my first few years as a married woman, and while I started my own family, most all of my relationships revolved around women 1 or even 2 generations ahead of me! And, oh the blessings I reaped from spending hours with these women. The trust, the confidence and the love that was built up between me and these women is so precious. They became my cheering section, when I was having a bad day, or week, or even month. They were the ones who reminded me that this stage will be gone so quickly. In those moments when I just didn't want to be obedient as a wife and mother, they graciously told me to “pull up my socks” and get back to work. Feelings would follow obedience.

So, older women out there – please be obedient and be a godly example to these younger moms and wives!

BUT wait a second.

However much may be commanded of an older woman in the Lord – these mentorship relationships go two ways. Perhaps cultural trends may be contributing negatively to this need of cross-generational community. Stay-at-home moms are literally living in a different world than even 20 years ago. More of us are working outside of the home, and feeling more pressure than ever to try and balance it all. Now, we’re supposed to go and find an older woman to buddy up with? When? Not only has the workforce in general changed community dynamics for the modern stay-at-home mom, but the internet, social media, SMS.... we have all of these virtual relationships that make us feel connected, but are we, really? Like some of us have over 500 “friends” on Facebook, are part of blogging groups, and even online Bible studies... so why do we need another community?

All of us desire authentic relationships with people who actually care about us. At the end of the day, after you have spent countless moments “spying” on your friends on Facebook, what kind of heart-to-heart chats have you had? Has anyone really spoken to your unique life-problem or joy? Does anybody even know about that deep inner struggle that you have no idea how to solve on your own? Not only that, but... have you had the opportunity to be an encouragement to somebody else in their real life? Genuine, authentic, life-giving, loving relationships.... isn’t that we want?

Have I whet your appetite to start seeking this out young ladies?

I hope you will join me next time.


  1. Hey, Yes this is a problem in many ladies I know of. I will say that real relationships come first. I find that most woan use their blogs as just an outlet. They think of them as an on line ministry. But I can say they really don't satisfy the heart of what a woman needs.
    I make the time to comment, because it is not all about me. People all over the place are crying out (Do you see me?) (Do you hear me?)
    I send an Easter blessing your way. I was hoping to see you stop in on my blog!
    Blessings, Roxy

    1. Social media can be a huge time vacuum. But when used wisely, I think God will use women's talents for His purposes online. It can be such a rich resource. Happy Easter to you also.

  2. This is great food for though. Nothing can or should take the place of relationships in real life. It's also good for young women to realize they should not necessarily wait for older women to initiate a mentoring relationship- it's okay & even necessary sometimes for younger women to reach out first. And even as we reach out for a mentor, we need to be looking for someone we ourselves can become a mentor too.

    1. I absolutely agree with you about taking initiative Mary. Usually, if us younger moms wait around for others to reach out to us, we will be painfully disappointed. There's nothing wrong with making the first move and continuing to make the effort when we find ourselves in a very special relationship. They work two-ways. Blessings.

  3. I treasure my [real] life relationships with women of all ages. Each season has it's own gifts to offer and when we share, we all benefit! Lovely thoughts here today!