January 14, 2013

Good Parenting In = Good Children Out

Somehow this mindset has had me trapped---really ever since I became a mother. If I make all of the best decisions I can, and try really hard to be the best model I can, my children will turn out. Right? If I'm a good mom, I'll have good kids. I am realizing now how detrimental this thinking really is. And how ungracefull. I am sent wallowing in despair when I make a mistake thinking that surely now I have messed up my kids for life, or I lose it in anger when they are disobedient or rude because I am taking it as a personal offense. I'm trying so hard here!

What is this pattern of thinking?
Not trusting. Wanting control. Being unwilling to submit. Hanging on too tight. Faithless living. Fearful bondage. Idolatry.

The thing is this, I want so badly to place my children into the lap of the Father and have them embrace Him. The flip side, I never want to make a mistake so large that it turns my children away from God and the church.

Good Parenting In actually does not equal Good Children Out, just like Bad Parenting In equals Bad Children Out. It doesn't take much reading in the Old Testament, to see a godly king raise up a son who ends up becoming an evil king who raises a son who ends up becoming a godly king and so forth. History shows us that there aren't any guarantees in our methods. And perhaps there's rest found there. If there were guarantees---if there was a tried and true formula for turning out godly kids---we would be the god, and no longer need a Savior. We would no longer have reason to trust in our Father. And this is where we need to be. Constantly.

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' name.


  1. Hey Karina, I loved this post! There is freedom in it :-)

  2. Loved, loved, loved this!! So true, and so important for parents to remember. God doesn't call us to be "successful" but faithful. Yet we often measure our success by how our kids turn out. Would you be willing to add this to my link up party, so my readers can see it? i know they'd enjoy it! http://courtshipconnection.com/?p=3233

    1. Absolutely Kathie! I checked out Courtship connection and definitely linked up. Thank you for stopping by. :)

  3. Very beautifully written and thought out. You are right - we can't make "good children" but we certainly can show they the truth of God and treat them with love, respect and grace. We will mess up - I know - but then they see human frailty, right? We are called to love them as He first loved us.
    Thank you for your inspiring and freeing words,
    Linking in from Grace Filled Mondays.